mixed feelings

this weekend brings two other roommates to the house (both s. african); yesterday one said to me "what's the difference between a tourist and racist? Two weeks." I know, damn. On Monday I would have just blown him off as a douche bag and moved on. But what's so upsetting is, I don't think he's all wrong. Maybe I just expected too much out of this country; I really thought I was coming to a place like Europe or the States, but with a whole lot of color. There are places that look like the developed world, but the places that count dont. For instance, our building (the dept of health of the entire country) has over 15 floors and only one of the four elevators work... if that. There is an x-ray machine for our bags when we enter the building, but no one to watch it. I set my bag down and pick it up on the other side... there could be a gun, a knife, whatever in it and it would go right through. Half the time there isn't even any internet in the building. If the workers want reliable internet they should go out and purchase 3G cards on their own for their computers.

I find myself getting visibly frustrated everyday. Things were worse in Ghana and Haiti for sure, but I expected that. I finally let the thoughts running through my head get the better of me at work and just asked "is this how things were when the whites ran S. Africa?" The reply was, this is an old building that's why things are like this. Bullshit! It's not a matter of white and black it's a matter of education.

My german roommate (she loves s. africa, dates a boy from the township, dislikes the white S. africans) blames apartheid for the problems I bring up. I really think her white guilt has gotten the better of her. She's not wrong, apartheid bares the bulk of the blame, but... I don't know. I see a lot of unqualified, unintelligent people in really important positions. I understant black should have political power here; but why not keep a blacks in the upper echelons and then hire people(black, white, indian, whatever) that know what they are doing for the rest of the positions. To me this is a situation of affirmative action gone ridiculous.

These are all the ramblings of some privileged American whose been here less than a week.

here

So I'm here. The flight was long. The man in front of me was huge and completely bald. He spent about 15% of our ride passing little bits of gas. And he looked like the kind of man who wasn't ashamed of it. I didn't get up even once. I was by the window and didn't feel like making the couple next to me stand up. When we had a couple of hours left I felt a little short of breath and started thinking I had a Pulmonary Embolism. I just stomped me legs around for a bit and everything was better.

The doctors assitant picked me up. We got lost for a while and finally found my place. My roomies so far are nice. I'm living with 2 germans, 1 russian, and 2 white south africans (it's almost imperitive to identify race when it comes to the south africans). The germans and russian were great, we had wine, they took care of me this morning, blah blah blah. I have yet to see the South African's; they are apparently medical students and didn't come down to greet me. I'm going to make them my best friends by the end of the week.

I am the only person of color in my neighborhood. 15 years ago the only blacks there were the help, and today it looks like the same. I woke up this morning to the maid, the garder, and the collectors. Collectors are people that dig through the trash to get bottles, paper, and cans. I tried helping the maid, but then soon realized I was making her uncomfortable. She did a great job and after 40 mins of having someone wait on me... I LOVE IT. I figure I've gone through a lot of schooling and I should have a maid.

Work so far has been really nothing. The boss is at some meeting so I'm just here running around with all his workers. We had a birthday celebration this morning where I was introduced to everyone.

Departing

The last time I did this update thing on a trip of mine I was told that it was annoying. So I won’t be invading your inboxes. You can check in on this blog whenever you feel like it. I have to write a technical paper about the stuff I do on this trip already so I’ll save you guys having to read about my day to day experiences. But whenever I faint, get robbed, get felt up, or have my period on someone’s sofa (all things I’ve done on past trips) this blog is where you’ll find it.

Also don't expect decent writing. My sister recently said "you sound like you know science but not english."